Becoming...A Woman That Makes You Proud

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Often our own worse critic, it makes it difficult to feel we’re doing all we can to become the best version of ourselves. Did I do this right? Did I say this right? Could I have handle this better? What would Jesus do? If you’re like me, the answers to these questions don’t always line up to be what we would admittedly say we’re proud of. That being said, I do not like having to apologize. I'm sure there's a hint of pride mixed in here. I try with all that’s in me to do the right thing on the front end, so there’s no apologies needed on the back end.

The problem with this approach is...I’m human. It’s impossible to do everything right all the time. As much as I strive, I fail, I fall, my emotions, my flesh sometimes get the best of me. My reality is, I’m not always proud of my decisions, my choices, my response to certain situations and people.

Becoming the best version of yourself, becoming the woman the you’re proud of doesn’t come by being perfect. It’s comes by acknowledging the imperfections that we all carry and taking measurable steps to strive to make God proud. Innately, making God proud, you automatically make yourself proud. Making God proud is the ultimate goal! We want Him to be pleased with our lives.

Below are just a few steps I believe will help you identify and implement steps in how to become a woman you're proud of!

Step One: Getting Rid of the Idea of Perfection

First, God isn’t looking for perfection!!! Becoming isn’t perfection. Becoming is evolving. Are we pressing toward the mark of the high calling? Are we using every opportunity possible to make a better decision. This means looking beyond the current obstacles to see the greater meaning; believing that all things work together for our good. This requires us to continue, even in uncertainty. To continue even when everything we see looks completely opposite of what we’re praying for. We shouldn't be expecting perfection but rather identifying ways we can go forth as we evolve.

The Bible mentions the word perfect countless times, but rarely without God being mentioned as the prerequisite which leads me to believe we’re only perfect IN HIM. Acknowledging that we aren't perfect, leaves space for God to occupy and for us to grow. As stated earlier, I do not like to be wrong ( this alone implicates an unrealistic concept that I am perfect), I'm still evolving in this step. In this light, strive not for perfection, but to be perfect, to be mature that you may be a complete work.

Post found on Instagram, edited for language.

Step Two: Responsibility

Secondly, taking responsibility for our actions and/ or lack thereof. I’m sure, if asked why we do what we do, it would directly relate to something someone else did or said. We gotta own it! I’m guilty of this, I did this because they did that. The amount of times I’ve reacted based on the behaviors of others are countless. The last couple of years have made me take responsibility for my shortcomings; my snappy responses, my ability to look through someone as if they aren’t present. I'm held accountable for response, not their action! Yep.

The truth is, everyone will not treat you as you deserve (Romans 12:14, 18). Everyone will not treat you as you treat them. So if we go through life responding based on how others act, we will never mature and operate on the level God is calling us to. In order to overcome this, we have to be willing to take responsibility and change those behaviors. This leads me to the next step...CHANGE.

Step Three: Embracing Change

Change is inevitably one of the hardest things we must do. Mainly because, well, we just don’t want to and it seems like we’re changing a part of who are. Well, at least that’s how I feel. Like, clearly I'm sane and y’all crazy! It takes more effort to recognize someone’s crazy and then make a conscious decision to respond completely opposite to what you feel. Its easier to succumb and respond from your emotional meter.

Change is defined, to make or become different, to take or use another instead of. Based on this definition, change requires us to become a different version of ourselves. I struggle with this because it makes feel disingenuous at times. Like I'm going against who I am, like I'm faking. This in fact, is the exact opposite. It’s pulling from a deeper part of you; a place where God resides and subsequently, we make Him proud, thus making us proud.

I don’t say this lightly, I understand how difficult it is to actively implement change. It’s a process, it’s evolution. This means being swift to hear and slow to speak (James 1:19). This means being proactive, which means staying with a ready answer, seasoned with salt for every man (Colossians 4:6). Is this easy at first, absolutely not. Can it be matured with practice, absolutely!

Step Four: Setting a Standard

I finally want to list setting a standard as an instrumental step in becoming a woman you can be proud of. Standard, a level of quality or attainment. I don’t recall ever defining the word standard before but this definition took me out!! Becoming a woman you’re proud of requires for us to level up! OK, Ciara! To operate and maneuver our lives with quality. Often we set standards for others regarding our lives but we need to set even higher standards for how we treat ourselves and what we allow to infiltrate our spirits.

The negative self talk, the narrative we repeat in our minds daily, drastically limit what we believe we’re capable of. Setting a standard goes far beyond actions it includes but not limited to what we feed our minds, souls, and spirits. Who’s in our inner circle? What conversations are we participating in? Once we have establish our personal standard, we can then implement this with our interactions with others and require a standard from them accordingly. We've heard this before, people treat you how you allow them to treat you. The best way to show people how to treat you, is to provide a blueprint for them to follow.

The Assessment

With self-examination, I'm sure there are more steps we could implement in becoming the woman we're proud of, but I wanted to share steps that I am currently working through to aid in my evolution in becoming a woman I'm proud of. Does any of these factors ring true to you? What are things you have identified in your own life that could be hindering your becoming? This is a continuous process. These steps may not be easy for me all the time. However, I am constantly on a quest to mature in these areas. I lightly mentioned in my first blog post that Becoming, by Michelle Obama blessed my entire life!! I purchased the audible version of Becoming, and was gifted the hard copy. Being able to effortlessly transition to both versions was amazing. Too much to truly delve into in this post, but throughout the book, Michelle gives account after account on her journey to becoming, which inspired me to even start this blog, to be vulnerable, to be fearless, to continue my own journey to Becoming!